


Wearing Your Heart on Your Sleeve

by Jakathine



Category: Altered Carbon (TV)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Heart-to-Heart, Heartache, Internal Conflict, Nudity, Past Relationship(s), Relationship(s), Scars, Skin Hunger, Skin Memory, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 10:10:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16324235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jakathine/pseuds/Jakathine
Summary: Just a short little thing that had been on my mind after Ortega had confessed about the true identity of Kovacs's sleeve.





	Wearing Your Heart on Your Sleeve

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short little thing that had been on my mind after Ortega had confessed about the true identity of Kovacs's sleeve.

Kovacs looked his sleeve over in the mirror. Every now and then, his old face and body would come to mind, temporarily blurring his mind to what he could currently see. When that moment passed he was left looking at what he was stuck in under the bathroom’s harsh light. From head to toe, his sleeve was extremely pale and lean.

Scars also littered this sleeve all over, some accidental and some intentional. Others he didn’t really know where they had come from for sure. He touched the mark he had given himself on the chest that had made Ortega finally confess whom this sleeve belonged. Afterwards, Kovacs had wanted to apologize or something akin to that, but he had bitten back that desire and hid it under a rush of anger at Bancroft. He touched his face, still so foreign with its sharp features and light hair.

Ortega’s arms wrapped around his middle, drawing his attention to them.

“Something on your mind?” she asked, her nakedness obvious as she pressed her breasts pressed against his back.

Kovacs considered her question as the tickle of her hair on his back stirred him. He watched in the mirror as she slid her locked hands further down, until they rested just above his crotch. It was a natural movement for her, as natural as kissing him or fucking him. The body could not help but react in a way it was comfortable to do, even though the mind was aware things were not the same. Sometimes, the thought made his heart ache. He realized he had been quiet to her question too long.

“I am thinking that even after all these years of changing sleeves, I will never be used to the skin memory.”

Ortega tilted her head, as if motioning him to explain. Kovacs felt every year of his extended life when he realized Ortega was so very young, still within her original sleeve. He turned in her arms to look down at her.

“When a person transfers sleeves, the previous sleeves’ owner sometimes does things so often they leave an impression on the person. Like this one specifically, he smoked like a train, so I can feel the urge to smoke even though I’m personally disgusted with it. Others, it’s a feeling that sort of just, acts on impulse and we’re halfway through the motion before we realize what we’ve done.” Kovacs explained, reaching up to brush a strand of hair from Ortega’s face.

Ortega leaned into his touch, “So…. sort of like when people tell you to learn an instrument or do anything often enough it just starts to be auto-pilot?”

“Yeah, something like that...but worse since when someone looks at you, they see the face of someone else, feel the other person’s habits, but that other person is no longer there.”

Her face went from inquisitive to deadly serious, “How much skin memory do you pick up from…. this sleeve, specifically?"

Kovacs smiled, softly but with a tainted sadness since he knew she was avoiding saying Elias’s name, “So very much. The way he touched you just here…” he reached down to trail a finger down her throat, “and kissed you there…” he moved lower to circle one dark nipple, “and worshiped you here…” his hand brushed over her mound, the neatly trimmed pubic hair tickling him.

Ortega swallowed thickly, looking away with guilt but a blush unmistakably dusting her cheeks. He brought his hand up to cup her face, so she looked at him again.

“The heart that beats within me is his and it entirely belongs to you - this I know. It calls out to you. When you get him back, you should let him know where yours is as well. He’ll need to know.” Kovacs said gently as he rubbed a careless thumb against her temple.

She managed a weak smile as she retorted, “He’ll need to know too about you. He won’t be too thrilled to see you put a tattoo on his skin.”

Kovacs cocked a brow as he looked at the tattoo he had immediately gotten etched onto his left arm, “He’s willing to blacken his lungs, but not his skin? What a strange man.”

Ortega pulled away from his hold to walk to her room. She paused at the door long enough to turn back to him.

“Thank you, Kovacs.”

He was tempted to snark something - anything - to make the subject drop, but her expression was so soft and vulnerable he only nodded instead. She left Kovacs alone in the bathroom to contemplate his reflection again. With a huge sigh, he started the water of the shower. He needed to get ready to go out into the city in this too-large of sleeve weighed down with a too-large of a heart.

 


End file.
